creative juices flow....

the creative juices have been flowing!!! which is a good thing and also a bad.
good because i LOVE being creative, bad because then i want to go all crazy with creating things.....but then lack of money stops me.
so need a job to support my "habit"

i will be attending my bff's wedding later this month!! which i'm SUPER excited about on so many levels! i'm her maid of honor and will be wearing a beautiful dress a color called "clover"...now finding green shoes that don't look like i pulled them of a leprechaun or gold shoes that i pulled off a hooker...is very hard. BUT with some creativity, i solved my problem. i went to the fabric store and bought as close to my color swatch as possible green material and made these shoe clips.

shoes bought from payless

it took several tries, but i'm really happy with how they came out, and so is my bride. and by the way....these heels are AMAZINGLY COMFY!!! just amazing. and this is a TON coming from someone who HATES wearing heels.

when i get back from the wedding, there will be pics galore of my adventure.

i also recently made these earrings....


i found these beautiful resin cabochons at the craft store and fell in love!!!
bought some earring backs, used some special glue and POOF! lovely earrings were made.

there was also a headband i made and i'm also thinking about how i can use my failed attempts of the other shoe clips into other crafts. i'll post some pics of those once i figure it all out.

i've got some knitting projects on my mind as well....i plan on making one of these, some more washcloths (because they're so simple and who couldn't use a washcloth?) and also some wrist warmers are currently in my needles, and i would love to make this.

if you have any ideas for me, please let me know!

xoxo, manda

and the Winner is........

comment number 2 from Last Mom!!!!!

"Woohoo!!! I love prizes! I, of course, follow you. I linked to your blog on my blog post this morning. (Last thing. It's a long post today!) Picking a favorite book would be hard! I'm not one to read books again and again, though I think I could with the Hunger Games trilogy. I also really love the Traveling Pants series and look forward to reading them with L when she's a little older. I really loved a book called "Toyer" by Gardner McKay. It's a psychological thriller and I could not put it down. I read it in one sitting. "

Leggs picked a number 1-3 and the number was 2!

Congrats Last Mom! email me your address and i'll send them off to you!!!

the power of "choice"

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." Lucille Ball


a dear friend of mine recently posted this quote as her facebook status
on what would have been Lucille Ball's 100th birthday.

i've thought a lot about that comment since then,
even posted it up on my computer screen's background.

i've got a few things that i'm stressing about and getting discouraged over but when i stop and REALLY think about it....

those stressful thoughts.....aren't that stressful.
getting discouraged is a way of life,
it's the getting back up that's the hard part.


it's how i handle the situation is what makes the difference.
it's the "choice" I can make about how I choose to handle it.

i can go sit in my room and pout and cry....
but that will only lead to a runny pink nose, throbbing headache and the loss of time.

i could yell and scream, rant and rave till i'm blue in the face....
but that will lead to no voice and turning blue in the face, and tho i do look good in blue,
no one really wants to listen or see me that way.

yesterday i called a friend and vented about a situation that's going on right now...
a situation that I KNOW i'm doing my very best to make happen, but i was getting discouraged about doing everything and just wanted to give up
and even tho i want the very best to make this situation the best possible thing...
i needed to step back, take a deep breath, and realize that YES i am doing a great job
that YES it's difficult, but can be done
and that NO i can not please everyone all the time.
i needed to look at all the positive things that i had gotten accomplished.

last night was the first night all week, i slept soundly. without waking up.

we've been given an amazing gift of "choice"
it's up to us to sit back, take deep breaths, and make a choice about how we're going to handle things.

i'm choosing to stay busy. to look at things a different way. know that whatever happens, it will all work out to be ok.

to those who really know me....this is HUGE. i usually always plan for the worse, then am surprised by how great things turned out. now....i'll be planning for the best.


and when things don't go as planned....i know i'll have choice to make on how i handle it.

i'll choose to smile.

such a cute giveaway!!!

source

there's a lil'lovely lady named Em and she has a blog called And Nothing Else Matters which can be found with a simple "click"

she's got a really cute giveaway going and you should go here to go check it out
now go!!! go enter!!!!


cause i did :)

Meet Legs

Meet Legs.....she's 9 going on 18 sometimes even older....she's the love of my life and the

most amazing person i will ever know.

she makes me smile every single day, several times a day.

she is completely her own person and i don't want to change a thing about her



i stole this pic of her while visiting my parents while in FL. she's very creative

{wonder where she gets that from? ;) }

Legs tells the funniest stories,
has the biggest bestest laugh,
sweetest smile,
biggest warmest heart,
super caring about others,
amazingly smart,
and i could honestly keep going......

she's the best part of me. she makes me be a better person.

she will be entering 4th grade this year. she's got her worries and concerns, as do i.
but i know, we'll both get through it together.

this picture was taken 4th of July with our Max
aren't they just the best?

i love you, Legs

i got nothin....

i am not being a very good blog-ess right now....yes i'm here with a quick little drop in post, but i've got such a raging headache and i'm trying so very hard to keep breakfast down, that i do not have an announcement of who won my first give away :( and with only 2 people entered, i'd feel bad it wasn't much of a fighting chance.......so with that said.........let's go another week! same rules which can be found here...only i'll announce a winner on AUG 17 :) now off to battle this bad boy of a headache and you're off to blog about this contest! ;)

FIRST EVER GIVE AWAY!!!!

isn't this the cutest!?!?!?

these are hand made by ME!!! washcloth/face cloths that are made from 100% cotton yarn that are just so soft and great to use to wash your face, body, dishes, anything!!! and the best part!! completely machine washable and totally reusable!!

there are 3 in this bundle.

it's something small that i thought would be great for a first give away! and the colors are great!! totally reminds me of the ocean or a super pretty blue sky

now here's how you can enter to WIN!!!

1) you must be a follower of my blog
2) you must Facebook or Blog about this give away
3)you must recommend your favorite book to me and why you love it so
4) leave a comment letting me know you did these with a link to either your blog post about this or Facebook post :)


see....4 easy peasy ways to win!!! on August 10th a winner will be announced! it will be completely random who wins! your names will be written down and a winner will be picked by little a!

good luck!!!

craft ideas

so borders is closing... :( we loved going to borders and checking out all the books and other goodies the store had to offer....but sadly no longer. on a trip to see what deals were to be had, i came a across this book that i'd been kinda wanting. it was for a decent amount off and it will hopefully jump start my creative juices.




even tho martha can get on my nerves sometimes with how crafty she is, or rather her team, i still think a lot of the ideas are really awesome.





i love how simple these paper flowers look to make!!!! a lot of supplies needed it seems like, but totally worth it in the end. who knows??? maybe i'll get super crafty around the house and create dozens of these flowers?

Making some Whoopie ::snicker::::

so today i made these:

yeah....complete awesomesauce, and completely tasty

i followed this recipe from an amazing momma, whose blog i follow and you can find her easy peasy recipe here isn't she just adorable and so cute!?!?!?

i read her blog all the time

now....as for me....i'm off to finally shower for the day and sneak in a nap!!!

{and maybe have another whoopie pie...who knows?}

let me know if you make some too!

guess who's leavin? on a jet plane too!!!

for the next two fun fill weeks, a and i will be returning home to FLORIDA!!!! so amazingly happy about this trip!! we haven't been "home" in two years! SO not looking forward to the heat and humidity, but the people we'll be seeing will make up for it.....ugh...humidity...::::shivers:::: grosses me out.

i also wanted to share with you that i have thought up an idea for another blog.....one that i hope i can make a difference, even if it's in a really small way, not only in my life, but others as well. but more on that after vacation.

as for my surprise give away....i'm almost done!!! i hope it goes over well. if this one works out, i'll be doing another one with a friend of mine who has her own etsy.com shop! so stay tuned for that!!

once i'm back from FL, i promise i'll be posting here more with tons of craziness or just slightly odd stuff. with summer i've been either busy with a or just blah. it's been hot here in So CA that it's been hard to motivated :)

alrighty....i'm off to finish laundry and packing...and to calm my nerves....more when i get back!!!

shhh!!!! i've got a secret!!!

since i've been in a crafty mood lately, i'm thinking about doing my first ever give away!!!! it won't be anything hugely amazing, but it will be handmade...by ME!!!!!! once i get things done and think about a way to handle this i'll let you know!! if you know of anyone who likes handmade things, please share this posting with them!

Safe Haven by Nicholas Sparks

sigh...........S makes fun of me everytime i come home from the library with one of his books...."who died this time?" is his first question. and sadly...he's right. Sparks' has a pattern to his writing and not that it's a bad thing, it's just something you come to expect in his writing. someone dies/died/is dying and need to overcome/deal with loss/come to grips with. people fall in love, have issues then are happy again. it's just how it is.

i've read all his books, except the one with his brother. Safe Haven was good. i liked the characters and the storyline. the one thing i really enjoy about his writing style is how much you feel you're there with the characters in the area they're at at the time....if they're at the beach having a picnic, you can feel the sand, hear the waves, feel the ocean breeze on your face.....well...i can anyway :)

i feel for the main character "katie"....i had a boyfriend once who thought an occasional hit was ok. he didn't last long....trust me. he didn't like that i hit back. anyways.....what she goes through is horrible and the strength she shows overcoming it is great. it takes a lot to get away from abusive people. physically or emotionally abusive people are horrible and ruin lives everyday. if you know someone or of someone who is dealing with issues like this, please....help them get some help. there are most likely hidden signs, odd comments they might make....but they are scared. they need to get away and press charges.

i enjoyed this book. it's an easy quick read. something to help take you away from daily life for a little bit.

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

yup...finally got around to reading these books that everyone has been talking about and all the hollywood buzz about the movie. i finished the last book last night. s has the first one with him and is enjoying it so far. i've heard that the first one is amazing then the story kinda falls apart with the other two....which is kinda hard going into a series with so much buzz going around about them but i did it.

thoughts on the first one are.....katniss is pretty basic as a character i think. she's very straight forward in thinking and planning on survival and keeping peeta alive. the concept of the whole "hunger games" is just purely messed up!!! why is have children kill each other a way to move forward in life? also....why in any future movies/books, humans are kept in special areas gated off from "normalcy"? that's just messed up.

"catching fire" was the start of the fall of the capital, which having another "game" in the "quarter quells" just plain f'ed up really. i think people have been through enough. but the love development between katniss and gale and katniss and peeta is, to me, sadly undone. i know it's just a part of the whole story and not the main part, but katniss hasn't grown as a character to me in this one. yes, she's been through hell and back and now is facing that hell again with secret plots going on around her. but her personal growth isn't there. she should be able to put things together a little faster to me at this point.

"mockingjay" left me the same way. living in district 13 now and walking about borderline catatonic in the beginning makes sense. she's lost everything. her home, peeta, her "normal" life....and now is being forced to be a face of the resistance. it's a lot for a 17yo. but her lack of awareness of what's really going on and gale's feelings and her own for either of the boys and really lacking for me. i would have loved to seen more personal growth for her. yeah she's kickass about wanting to take down the capital and president snow, then facing some realities about president coin, but i think if she was able to put plots/plans together faster it would have made for a more interesting story line. i do like how she's reaching out to peeta in this one to bring him back. and i do understand that she hasn't had the chance to be a "normal" teen that the way of life and circumstances surrounding that has made it impossible. the way of her world is nothing like ours and it hampers i suppose her personal growth. i really like we finally get to learn more about haymitch and why he is the way he is.

do i think the movie version will play up the love story more? hell yeah. do i think the movie version will be a mockery of the book? most likely. hollywood has a way of doing that. even tho there's already something laid out right in front of them, they go and mess with the heart of it. will i see the movie? yup. the pics of i've seen of the actors are too old and she's not blonde and he's not a brunette...so yeah, what's up with that? i hate when hollywood messes with key character descriptions. the only movie to book character i feel they got spot on with casting is the harry potter kids. spot on and well done. i'm sure there's others, but i'm too tired to think right now ;)

i enjoyed the books. i was right there in the game with katniss rooting her on and caring about peeta. i was just as shocked as she was at the announcement for the quarter quells. i wanted both president snow and coin dead. would i recommend them? yup. these books are a good read. well written, but i would have loved to seen more character development in katniss. any one else want to share their thoughts?

well...hello there!!!

so yeah...i've been sucktastic lately with my bloggyness or lack thereof really. my head has been a funky place lately and there were thoughts that shouldn't be shared outside of it. i'm sure you've all been there? right?!??! RIGHT!?!?! ok....i know you're agreeing with me, now i feel better.

well.....let's see....what's been going on that will make sense to share about. our road trip vacation was amazing!!! i bought a and mines tickets to FLORIDA!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!! prepare to be invaded fl.....we're just gonna rock your world!! (you may need a cigarette after, wink wink). school's out. a and i have so for just been bums really. lounging around.....reading....watching movies/tv...you know typical bummy stuff.

i've been thinking about what kinda direction i wanted to take this blog in and i've decided that i wanted to do more reviews of the books i've been reading since books are like air to me. i really need to air to survive, it is like one of the main things keeping us alive, and to me books are apart of that. ask anyone who knows me, i usually always have a book in my hand. the other a glass of my own sweet tea.....another basic to living a proper life. so...with that said expect to see more about what i'm reading. i know on other blogs there's like a little gadget i can add to show you what i'm reading, but seriously.....i go through like 2-3 books a week. so....i'd be constantly updating it and it sounds like a real pain in the arse. sorry. but it's true. cope. ;)

also since having some down time i've been jammin to pandora on my iphone (yeah we're cool like that now, we's on the iphone party train and man...i've developed an unnatural love for it...like it's always with me) so it's pretty awesome.

ok....so i'm on my third glass of wine, singing along to this song....why!?!? because apparently pandora thinks queen is a whole lot like avril lavigne and i needed to hear it right now. duh.

also this song is also kinda amazing and even tho it's about a couple, i kinda feel like it's about me too....but i hope in the future it'll change and you'll come to love me too.

sigh....30

well...it's offical. i'm now 30. i spent the day climbing up a mountain in Muir Woods up by San Francisco. it was the most magical, most beautiful place i've ever been. i kept waiting for fairies to fly by and grant me birthday kisses, but i think they were too shy to come out. the trees were massively tall and so old. the air was so clean and fresh, you truly felt alive and well, well.....once you caught your breath from all the climbing that is. so thank you muir woods, you helped turning 30 into a not too shabby experience.

{the baby}

we had it planned out that while i was in school, he was home. while he was in school, i was home. our baby was due may 15th. right before graduation on june 11th. well.....this little one had other ideas. i went in to my doctors appt. on april 1. the did the usual checks, blood pressure, weight...yeah. everything had gone crazy. i'd gained 16lbs in 3wks. by blood pressure was way high. they made me do a urine test....it was loaded with protein. they sat me in a room, the doc came in scanned the chart and dropped the bomb. "go to the hopsital...i'll meet you there in about 2hrs. you are pre-eclamptic and we have to get your bp down."

ummm.....ok. panic mode set in slightly. called my mom "hey...on our way to the hospital......no don't come down yet...it'll be alight.."

after a quick stop at dunkin donuts {hadn't had breakfast yet...gotta eat before going to the hospital right?} we were at the hospital. hooked up to monitors and on a magnesium sulfate iv drip {to lower the bp}.....good times were coming.

this was all april 1st. i was so determined that she wouldn't be born that day. nope...wasn't having it. she could come anytime after 12:01am april 2. the meds they had me on was so trippy. S stayed with me all night. all cramped in a really uncomfortable chair, poor guy.

on april 2nd things really stared to happen. the doctor had said that due to the pre-eclampsia, we'll be having the baby today. my bp was crazy high, i was still putting out a lot of protein and it was getting scary for the health of me and our baby. we called parents and said "now, get down here." their 2hr drive was done in 1 1/2. i called my work and explained that i would no longer be coming in, S went to the school real quick and saw his teachers and explained what was going on. i called my friends who i had class with and told them to let our teachers know. then we prepared ourselves for being actual parents.

at around 3:30pm the nurse came in to prep me for a c-section. i wasn't able to have a natural birth and it would have caused too much stress on the baby. everything happened around me while i was in a slight daze. some from the meds, some just from still processing that this was happening. she wasn't due for another 6 weeks. we had NOTHING prepared for her at home. just a few things here and there, but other then that...nothing. i was supposed to be sitting in class!!! showing my friends my rings and telling them about the wedding.....but there were other plans in the works apparently.

S was amazing through all this. my parents were taking pictures of everything, well most everything. at 4pm i was wheeled into the operating room. my reaction to the meds was i was shaking like i was cold. my teeth were chattering and everything. S was there holding my hand, which is HUGE for him since he doesn't deal with blood and guts too well....like he'll pass out not so well. at 4:23pm on tuesday april 2, 2002 i heard her tiny cry when they got her out. i only got to see her beautiful face for a second. she was only 4lbs. she was amazing. all her apgar scores were in the 9's. the next thing i knew, she and S were gone. off to the NICU to make sure everything else was fine. and she was. she was absolutely perfect. just tiny.

the hardest part was me. they get me stitched up and in recovery. i was running a slight fever and wasn't allowed to see her till thursday. it was the longest time ever. while i slept, S went to class. poor guy hadn't slept properly since monday and he's still doing what's right. i called my bff and man...was she a lifesaver. she came walking down the hall to me carrying 2 HUGE bags of stuff. burp cloths, onesies, two outfits, diapers, nursing bras! she is amazing. she helped me wash my hair, put some make up on...help me feel human again.

thursday afternoon i was finally able to see and hold my baby girl. she was just....wow. so tiny but so strong. her little hands just wrapped around my finger and held on. momma was here. everything was alright.

i was released on friday april 5th. little a wasn't able to come home till a week later. it was the hardest thing leaving the hospital without her. it felt wrong. i wasn't able to drive so i was bugging everyone i knew to come pick me up and bring me back to the hospital. the nurses were like "you don't have to come every 4hrs...you should be resting." .... yeah not happening. i was there as much as i could be. on tuesday april 9th was back in class. my teachers had the paperwork ready for me to skip this quarter and graduate next quarter. yeah...not happening. i was 10wks from graduation...i was finishing. but since we had our schedules set up right, we made it work. when she finally came home, those next 10wks were a blur. thank god for friends. our roommate worked at chili's at night so dinner's were called in to him and he brought food home at times. our parent's both worked and my mom is allergic to the cat who lived with us at the time so none of them could come down to help. i really don't know how we did it....just thinking about it...wow. 26 days after she was born, i turned 21. my bff came over and spent the day with me. she baked me a cake, we went to the video store and rented videos {remember having to do that? back in the day..hahahaha} S came home with balloons and chili's {can you tell we loved that place..now we don't eat there like ever hahahha} and spent the night as a little family with videos, homemade chocolate cake and love.


all this happened 9 years ago. i remember it like it was yesterday. i look forward to the years to come and the adventures we have yet to have. thanks for reading "our story". hope you enjoyed it. i had a blast remembering this and sharing it with you.

{the end of the 20's}

i realize i should have posted this yesterday, but it was a monday and monday's to me are my "break day" from the weekend.

yesterday was march 28th marking the "1 month to my bday" day. but this year, it has a different meaning to me. for those who don't know...birthday's are HUGE to me. i ALWAYS take time to either call or email or facebook a "happy birthday" to people who matter. i believe that birthday's are meant to be celebrated and recognized. i mean...come on!? why not!?!?!? it's the day YOU WERE BORN!!!!! that's pretty darn special in my book. so anyways....back to the point of this post.....

yesterday marked the LAST MONTH OF MY TWENTIES!!!!!!!!!!! now for some people, meaning normal people, it's not a huge deal to turn 30. to me.....it kinda makes me catch my breath and breathe a little funky for a minute. i know in my head it's just a number and numbers can never get you down. {unless it's a clothing size number then that could potentially really get you down...stupid fashion industry} but to me....30 is more then a number. it's the end of something.

my 20's were not like the "normal" 20's experience. i had to grow up really fast. at 20 i was pregnant. at 20 i was a wife soon to be mom. i graduated college and instead of starting a career, i started being a stay at home mom. and i don't regret any of it. i love being a mom. i'm not going to lie and say it was all peaches and cream at the beginning, because it was really hard. really freaking hard. but i made it through. i had to figure a ton of stuff out on my own. i finally learned how to cook!! {man i used to burn practically EVERYTHING!!! poor hubby.} but it wasn't what my friends were doing. they were still in college or looking for jobs. able to go out on friday nights to movies, bars, or parties. my 21st bday was spent at home with my newborn preemie, my bff and my man who brought take out home because we couldn't take our daughter around people yet. but did i have a good time? you bet. it was awesome. i was with people who loved me.

during my 20's i had various jobs. nothing that really stuck tho. worked in retail, taught pre-schoolers, and finally worked in a doc's office. now i'm a stay at home mom again. only this time, no baby/toddler to take care of. just me, the dog, the bird and the house. it's kinda weird. i've been looking for work, but haven't found anything that will still allow me to pick up A from school and be home to help with homework. she deserves me to be there. she's always had either her dad or i home with her after school. but it's isolating at times this time around. i'm not rushing off to daytime playdates, the park, the library for storytime, playgroups.....none of that. just me. maybe here and there for coffee with some friends, but not always. very rarely now that i think about it.

to me turning 30 should be a turning point in my life. in what direction tho.....i still have no clue. a friend and i have been talking about collaborating on having an etsy site. she's got design skills and i've got the crafty skills. so that's something to think about. i've always got some kind of craft project sitting around somewhere. i've been helping out at A's school a lot and i really enjoy doing that. but do i want to become super involved in PTA and such things? no. i'm not "that" mom. just not built for it. i need to find some kind of purpose tho. need to find something that will bring something into my daily life. i don't feel as grounded as i probably should. but i'm totally never sure i will feel grounded.

so yeah, it's looking like this last month of my 20's is going to be interesting. i'll be 30 next month with a 9yo daughter who is amazing. married to the love of my life for 9yrs. we're finally in a position where we're not so stressed about money anymore, living where we're supposed to be. we're actually going on a REAL vacation next month where we'll actually be in san fransisco for my bday. who knows? maybe i'll have found some purpose and some answers by then? if not......it's cool. i'll still be on the look out.

{the wedding}

we planned a small, simple, and perfect wedding. our college semesters were broken up into 11wks of school, one week off, on for another 11wks then off for 3wks. our spring break was during the 1wk off and that's when we planned to have our wedding. we were still living in ft. lauderdale and home was only 2 hours away, but man...it was still crazy planning a wedding while going to school full time, working part time, and being pregnant. {there are kinda 2 stories this whole story} thankfully between both sets of parents we had a ton of "hook-ups". we decided to get married at a restaurant the was located along the indian river. they had an outside deck and the room we held the reception in was just stunning. the whole building was used as a rum runner building during the prohibition days so there was a ton of charm and uniqueness to the place. nothing matched...tables were different from long to round. chairs were different styles, there were stained glass windows hanging above tables in all different colors. it was the perfect place. my mom made my wedding dress. she also made my maid of honor's dress and my sister, due to location, made hers. a friend of the family's did all our flowers, another did all the photography....it was amazing.

our song was "hanging by a moment" by lifehouse in the acoustic version. we did things simply and had a blast.

the only thing missing was his brother. remember how i said he was in the navy during this time? he was serving on the U.S.S Rossevelt which was over near the middle east. he was due to be back in the states on march 22 and would have been about to serve as best man. due to things out of our control, the ship that was due to relieve them was late. he was back stateside march 25th and back to home the 27th. he just missed us! but he did an amazing thoughtful thing. while out one night on "shore leave" he and his friends toasted us and had it recorded and sent for us to watch. it still makes me tear. so he wasn't physically there with us, but he was still there.

we had our honeymoon in st. augustine, fl. we stayed at a bed and breakfast and took time to be our married selves. we found this amazing little wrap sandwich place that i think we ate at everyday! we're simple people like that! {both junior and senior proms, we ate simple. senior prom's dinner was at chili's!} we took a carriage ride, walked along the shops, went and got a massage, climbed to the top of the lighthouse {which technically i shouldn't have done, being 33wks prego at the time}....were just happily married people. i remember when we went for a tour we had to sign our names, S stepped back and said "nope...you sign...it's your first time using your new name". i was so happy to be using HIS last name. i was officially "HIS" now. we were family.

during all this wedding planning and school and work.....we were pregnant. we watched my belly grow, my moods swing like crazy {i'm so sorry honey!} thought of names and tried really hard to not go crazy buying stuff. one night he made dinner and he made schezwan chicken. when he opened the jar of spice...both our sinuses were clear. it was crazy spice. when it was done, we sat down expecting a really good meal. i caved after like 3 bites. it was SPICY!! CRAZY HOT SPICY!!! it ended up being a cereal-for-dinner kinda of night. while sleeping, at about 2am, i'm woken up by the weirdest feeling. the baby is reacting to the spice. she was going NUTS!! just moving like crazy....so much you can SEE my belly moving around. i woke him up and was kinda freaking out myself! i turned to him and said..."omg what did you do to her!!" i drank some milk and she really calmed down after that. but man...i was scared we like damaged her or something! but things were fine. {to this day little a doesn't really do spicy foods lol}

while driving up to our bed and breakfast, i noticed how swollen my feet and hands were. i chalked it up to just from all the stress from the wedding. when our short stay was over, we drove back to sebastian {home} to see his brother. it was so great to be able to finally see him. he couldn't believe my belly! it's one thing hearing someone is pregnant, but another actually seeing them that way. we spent the last few days of our spring break spending time with him and seeing some family that was still in town for the wedding. our last night in town we went out to dinner with his parents and brother. while sitting there, i had this crazy sharp pain shoot up the back of my head and felt extremely nauseous. i dashed off to the bathroom. thankfully nothing ummm....came up. but i went outside to get some fresh air afterwards. his brother came out and sat with me and we chatted a bit. S and i had to be back in ft lauderdale by april 1st for a doctors appt. and it was also the first day of our graduating quarter...................

and now my lovelies.....i'm leaving you here. part 3 will be in 8 days. just to keep with the time line of "our story"

randomness

here's something silly for the day:

3 random things about me

1. i always want ice cream when it's super cold out, even when i can't feel my toes i'm so cold

2. i used to fall asleep playing with my belly button when i was little. no thumb sucking for me

3. sometimes, when i'm really sad and even with S right next to me in bed, i'll cuddle with the first pooh bear he gave me that stays on our bed.

what's random about you today?

the start of it all......

tomorrow will be 9 yrs that my man and i have been married! we'll have been together tho for 15yrs this august. crazy right? we are high school sweethearts. so....i was thinking that today i would tell our story or at least a part of it. so let's see.........

it all began back in 1996. we were sophomores in high school back in FL. he played tenor sax in the band and i was in the color guard. i knew him through friends, he actually was the boyfriend at one time of one of my really great friends! (but they broke up before he and i got together) so...we were at a weird performance we had to do. we were down at dodger stadium in to do a performance there...weird right? a MARCHING band at a baseball field!?!? just a tad out of place! anyways....i was hanging out with his friends and me with mine. i was talking with a friend who we were both friends with and started asking him about my man...was he still single? do you think he'd like me? silly girl questions....then the big one "will you ask him out for me!?" {lame i know, but hey it was high school and i was only 15} well......a whole THREE days later he finally got back to me. YES!!! {whew!!!! took him long enough!} it was a great feeling to me when he did say yes. he came over to me and casually held my hand right away!! {at 15 that's huge} the next night was a party at one of my friends houses and i invited him to go with. that night was kinda just crazy fun on many levels but it was another big night for us! our first kiss!! it wasn't like all those movie first kisses where you find yourself alone with your honey, with soft music playing somewhere and you're just gazing into each others eyes....no this was a "truth or dare" kind of first kiss. it was my turn and i chose DARE {sigh....i was always one to take challenges lol} well, our friend M said "i dare you to kiss S" well....i got totally nervous...i'd really only known him for like....what 24hrs? if that!!! well....S just said "oh come here..." and man did he plant one on me!!!!!! {total butterflies in tummy moment} the rest of the night, whenever we could sneak away.....let's just say there was some practicing going on.

since then, we were always together as much as we could be. i was the good girlfriend who didn't complain too too much about him always going out skating with the boys, sometimes i would even go along.....i learned to grind and skate backwards....and usually ended up on my very bruised bottom lol we would go to movies or just hang out at each others houses. it was really good. really good. simple fun getting to know each other and fall in love....

the first time he said "i love you" was a crazy night!! we were lined up on the football field for a home game performance waiting for the announcer to finish his stuff. luckily his starting point was like a yard away from mine. he turned around really quick to say a quick "good luck" then mouthed the words " i love you"........i was so, just....wow. that night i hit every mark, caught every toss, just the best show. later at our third quarter break, i hugged him and shyly asked "what did you say after good luck".....{i so had to hear this out loud} he smiled down at me (i'm just the perfect height for him, i fit right under his chin!) and said "i said i love you" and of course i totally said it back to him and meant it. i'd never known a guy like him. he always made me feel special and took time to hear what i had to say. and this was all at 15/16.

the rest of high school we were together. i think we were the second couple in the school who was together the longest. at the band banquet held at the end of the year, the seniors of the year give little speeches, usually thanking everyone and passing on words of wisdom to the younger ones. when it came to mine, i was too choked up to even talk the first time. i had to let someone go ahead of me. when it was my turn again....S came with me. he held my hand and helped me get though it. we were 18 at the time. then graduation came............

since he was a child, he always knew that he wanted to be an animator. there were many times when we were hanging out when he was playing on the computer with some kind of animation program trying to figure it out. he got accepted to the Art Institute of Ft. Lauderdale. this was so amazing for him....but two hours away from me. i had dreams of becoming a paramedic. i grew up around them and figured it was what i knew might as well do that. the first year was horrible. i went with him and his roommates to move in, helped set up his room, and just was there. we ended up spending the night and his first class was the next day. i rode with his friend and brother and he drove in his car, and we followed him to the school. when he turned in and we didn't i lost it. i, quietly as i could, sobbed in the back seat all the way home. i was so proud of him, but missed him like mad. the distance was tough and we actually broke up for a little. but things worked themselves out and we were back together. i would go spend a weekend or he would come up home and we'd be together. we made it work.

after a semester of EMT training, i knew it wasn't for me. i slacked during my second semester. i didn't return for the second year. i honestly still regret these actions, but it's in the past. i got the crazy idea in my head the i would move to Ft. Lauderdale. not in with him, but at least down there. so i did. man.....that was so flippin' hard to do. i was on my own for a good 4 months before i had a roommate move in {who later became my bestest friend ever. we're total soul sisters} i ended up going to the same college he went to but for something else. things were crazy tough but it was easier being together. we broke up again for awhile, almost to the point where we both were considering "moving on" from each other. i had a HORRIBLE job where i had to travel across the state. on one of these trips i heard a song...."hanging by a moment" by lifehouse. i heard that song over and over and over the whole like 3 days i was there. i couldn't hear it without thinking about S. i knew then that i was meant to be with him. when i got back we talked and worked everything out. we were completely together with each other and both knew that we wanted to be with each other. he was 20, and i was just getting ready to turn 20. for my 20th birthday he say me down and told me something amazing. we were both getting ready to graduate in june of 2002. so this was my birthday of april 2001, and he told me that from now till then that i should be looking at rings!!!!!! but little did he know that i had my heart set on my grandmother's engagement ring that was willed to me. {she was the best lady and i still tear up missing her} but the proposal wouldn't come till after graduation. i was over the moon with happiness.

i was planning on going to PA to visit my sister for a week in sept. 2001. S turned 21 in sept and we spent the day riding roller coasters at islands of adventure in orlando. during the day, i started feeling kinda queasy.....but chalked it up to all the roller coasters. then...hell broke lose. sept. 11, 2001. my mom called in the morning to let me know about the first plane. S had spent the night because the a/c was broken in his place. i woke him and told him and we kinda just thought "oh...drunk pilot..." then the second plane. being a college student i didn't have money for cable, so i was trying to find all the info on the radio. we drove to his place and watched the news all day. my flights had been canceled to see my sister. she called a week later asking if i wanted to take the train up. yes. after the 11th, i was feeling horrible. wasn't hungry, cranky, and just tired all the time. and i missed 'something' big. i chalked it all up to the stress of having our world turned upside down. but on the safe side on sept 19th....i took a {test}. well......that was one test i wasn't sure how i felt about passing and man did i pass. all 4 that i took. i was 20 and he was 21 and all we really had between us was love and a spoken promise. i'm so thankful for how my parents and his took the news. our world was shaken again. we were all dealing with the aftermath of the 11th, his brother was serving in the navy at the time, a cousin was supposed to be on one of the two plane that hit the towers, and now....a baby. we both knew that whatever it took, we were keeping the baby.

he was a rock through it all. he went with me to every doctors appointment. held my hand and joked with me about the instrument used for an internal ultra-sound. {if you don't know what i'm referring to, think about the shape of something for "lady fun" that uses batteries...you with me now?} when we saw our little peanut for the first time, we both had tears. then the next big ultra-sound was finding out the sex. our little peanut was a girl!!!!! we were so excited!!!!!!

that christmas break, we drove home to see our parents. it was the first without his brother. but we all made it through. he and i have a tradition that since i'm so impatient when it comes to christmas morning, he would give me something small on christmas eve and it was usually a winnie the pooh bear. every christmas eve, his parents would do a big dinner and invite family and friends. we always did that with his parents and christmas day dinner with my parents (at that age we were already doing the "swap holidays" lol) well....i couldn't wait for my gift...i did mention i was impatient. so about at 11pm-ish he brought me inside from where we were hanging out with family and said it was time for my gift. on his bed was a long big box that was oddly shaped. i opened it to find a pooh bear dressed in a tux with my grandmother's ring in its box with his hand writing on a note "Will You Marry Me?". i gasped an immediately said "YES!!!!" best gift ever.

we were 4mths pregnant at the time and i had just for the first time felt our little peanut move inside my warm belly. it was such a happy time for both of us. i'm not saying it was easy and completely blissful....being so young, in college, learning to live together for the first time along with his 2 other roommates, and growing up so fast this way...it was freaking hard. but we made it work. we planned on oct 2002 for a wedding. it would have given me 6mths to get "back into shape" for a dress. but....i had a moment where i didn't want to wait that long. i was driving to work and had to stop at his place of work and ran in and said that i didn't want to wait. i was ready to start this marriage asap and being parents. we were engaged on dec. 24th 2001 and planned to be married on march 24, 2002. 3 months later. i thought our parents would kill us with this lol. but they didn't. they worked with us and planned...................................




part 2 "the wedding" tomorrow......

online "shopping" {sigh}

today while home, i decided to browse the interwebs for some new clothes, that will probably never make it into my closet. i LOVE clothes, but mostly how they look on other people. i don't really have a set "style" other then "yeah...ok this works. i think". but here's some of that i was looking at today, and yes...i already know before you say anything...THERE ARE OTHER COLORS THEN BLACK!!! but black works so well on me!!!! and {shocking i know!!!} i picked out some dresses i liked....weird huh? now if only i had the gazillions of dollars to buy this stuff i'd be a happy lady!

as of 3/15/11......

remember when i wrote this lovely entry? well now i have the following books in my "handy dandy notebook cha-ching" (don't let me hanging...you know that was a blue's clues reference and you liked it!) ok here we go!!!

Ape House- Sara Gruen
Burned- P.C. Cast
Measure of a Lady- Deenne gist
Vampire Academy- Richelle Mead
Frostbite- Richelle Mead
Sizzlin' Sixteen- Janet Evanovich
The Boleyn Inheritance- Philppa Gregory
The Red Queen- Philppa Gregory
Death's Excellent Vacation-Charlaine Harris and Others
Guilty Pleasures- Laurell B. Hamilton
Shadow Kissed- Richelle Mead
Blood Promise- Richelle Mead
The Queen's Governess- Karen Harper
The Valcourt Heiress- Catherine Coulter
Wicked Appetite- Janet Evanovich
Ridging Lessons- Sara Gruen
Vision in White- Nora Roberts
Bed of Roses-Nora Roberts
Savor the Moment- Nora Roberts
The Laughing Corpse- Laurell B. Hamilton
Awakened- P.C. Cast

Waiting to be Read.....

Circus of the Damned- Laurell B. Hamilton
Lunatic Cafe- Laurell B. Hamilton
Bloody Bones- Laurell B. Hamilton
The Book Thief- Marcus Zusak

Currently Reading (soon to be done actually)

High Noon- Nora Roberts

so....sheesh!!!! when i'm done all those it'll be a total of 26 books!!! if you have read any of these books, please leave me a comment on your thoughts! if you have any questions about any that i have read, please ask!

painful night.....

since the time i was 11, when mother nature decided to have my hormones kick in once a month, i have had severe painful migraines/headaches. yup. it sucks. hard core. i get one right before "things" start and another one when it stops, both lasting for about 2-3days. last night was part 2 of my feb. friend. yay me. i was minding my own business reading a book when all of a sudden i noticed out of the corner of my right eye there was a fuzzy line thing going on. then i sneezed and i swear someone drove a nail in my left temple that's how bad it hurt. so i took some tylenol and went and laid down in the dark. i felt really bad tho, because my man was sick all weekend and he's done something to his back so that's a bother to him. little a was ready for dinner and i planned on making chicken and waffles (more about those on another post) and he had no clue how to make this. well....he was awesome. they took max out for a quick walk and i started the chicken. when they came back in, i had everything ready for him to make dinner. i have to say.....he didn't do too bad. i laid down while they were making dinner together and little a, even after almost 9 yrs, is still working on "inside voices" lol she was just chattering away about anything and everything. it was so funny to listen to this from the bedroom. she's just going on and on and on and on.........and my poor man was just doing the usual "uh huhs....oh really?....cool..." and then at one point i just started giggling...i just hear him go..."CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!?!?" laughing the whole time he's saying it. during the week he's gone 12hrs a day. he's home with us as a family for about an hour before it's bedtime for her. so he's not quite used chatty cathy here. then i hear her go..."yeah...i talk too much, don't i?" but they had a lot of fun making dinner and it came out pretty darn tasty. now if only this headache would go away.....

mrs. darcy......mrs. darcy........

where do i even begin. this book is just amazing. how two people who are so much alike yet so completely unaware of that fact till the end, then fall in love is just beautiful. how simple looks and first judgments can create such silly ideas and notions about people who you may never know because you never give them a chance. but once given that chance, your first ideas, notions and rash judgments were completely wrong and you missed out on so much.

i watched the kiera knightly and matthew macfadyen version of the movie last night. i just LOVE this movie. the chemistry between the two of them is just perfect with the tone of the movie. gentle hand touches and lingering looks......words spoken from the heart that just don't come out right at first but have so much meaning behind them.

there's a secret about me you may not know. inside i'm a complete hopeless romantic. i'm a mushball when it comes to love and romance. not the overly mushy stuff, but stories of two people who are so completely meant to be that despite anything and everything they were truly meant to be together. love songs get me too. romantic gestures melt my heart. a well written romantic movie will move me to tears. the movie titanic had me bawling for days after i first saw it. not so much the jack and rose story line, tho it was part of it, mostly that fact that it's based around an actual event and real live people who were in love died. the old couple holding on to each other as the water is coming up around them.....even now i tear up. how even when they knew they were about to die, they just held on to each other. forever. love does that to people. true love.

the scene at the end of the movie, where lizzie is walking in the early morning mist and she notices darcy walking towards her.......my heart completely skips a beat and my breath gets caught in my lungs.

Mr. Darcy: How are you this evening, my dear?

Elizabeth Bennet: Very well. Only, I wish you would not call me "my dear."

Mr. Darcy: Why?

Elizabeth Bennet: Because it's what my father calls my mother whenever he's cross about something.

Mr. Darcy: Well, what endearments am I allowed?

Elizabeth Bennet: Well, let me think..."Lizzie" for everyday, "my pearl" for Sundays, and "Goddess Divine," but only on special occasions.

Mr. Darcy: And what am I to call you when I'm cross? "Mrs. Darcy?"

Elizabeth Bennet: No, you may only call me "Mrs. Darcy" when you are completely, perfectly and incandescently happy.

Mr. Darcy: And how are you this evening... Mrs. Darcy? Mrs. Darcy... Mrs. Darcy... Mrs. Darcy!

{heart explosion}

i came across this picture today that made my heart explode with love and cuteness. these two giraffes remind me so much of aslynn and i. i love how their eyes are closed and are just loving this moment of being loved by each other. makes me want to go bring her home from school and spend the day together doing silly things.

emails

my sister lives in PA. she's going through a REALLY crappy time at work. seeing as how i've got tons of free time now, i started emailing her funny pictures i come across on the interwebs, just little things to help make her day a little easier. so far it's helping. it's also helping us to reconnect and "hang out" daily and talk.

my sister and i are 11 1/2yrs apart in age. so now that we're both older, we're more on an even playing field. i'll always be the quirky baby sister who is the black sheep of the family and she'll always be the wiser one that's always looking out for me. i love her to death. i wish we could hang out more in real life, and not just through emails, but for now that's working out great.

spontaneous invisibility cloak

do you ever get that? like one minute you know that people see you and are talking to you, then *POOF* it seems as if you completely have disappeared!?!? i know my car has this problem, there have been so many random times when i've almost been side swiped by people. fun times driving in ca. fun times indeed.

i guess we all go through times were people see you and can talk to you and enjoy your company, then others where it's like you've completely gone. spontaneous invisibility cloak! when you're under the cloak you can completely see and hear what's going on around you which in it's own right can be pretty darn fun. you can gather little bits of funny stories or shocking news from "she said/she said" stuff. you can see people who think no one is paying attention to them do the silliest or rudest things possible.

i like to think of my cloak as a pretty shinning star covered cloak complete with sparkles and glitter. you can never go wrong with glitter!! ever. or stars. what would your spontaneous invisibility cloak look like?

had an idea!!!

so whilst wondering around the kitchen this morning while looking for yummy food to eat i figured something out, and got rather proud of myself! i figured out something "techie" without having to ask the hubby. so yeah, proud moment for me.

i follow a great blog that you can find here. Ashley is an amazing, quirky momma and i love reading her posts and little glimpses in her life. she did a post called "things you should know if we're going to bff's" to read that click here and that going me thinking....there's been new stuff you might not know about me. so here i go at my attempt at it.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ME IF WE'RE GOING TO BE BFF'S

i love music from classic rock to even some of the new pop stuff

i constantly have an inner soundtrack playing in my head. even while grocery shopping or reading a book, there's some kind of music playing in my head

my favorite word is "believe" i think that word is just amazing and i'm going to dedicate a whole post to that word

my favorite shape is a star. i LOVE stars. they are so pretty and magical

along with my inner soundtrack i do sometimes have inner conversations. i think about "oh...i wish i said THIS!" or "this would be cool if we did this...." some of my greatest ideas have come from these conversations

i am now wondering if you are quietly thinking that "wow this girl really could be crazy" or maybe you just said it to yourself outloud...hmmmm?

when i get in the mood to bake cookies, i end up eating some dough then once the cookies are all baked, i no longer want any cookies.

i have the most amazing daughter. she is the greatest human being alive. even when she's talking back and being kinda of a butthead. i love her to pieces and she's everything to me.

i'm married to my high school sweetheart. we have now been together for HALF our lives!!! it's pretty amazing when you think about. we've grown up together and been through so much. he's an amazing guy and does so much for our family. he always finds a way to make me laugh. i love him.

i was scared to death moving to CA from FL about 3 yrs ago and now, i don't think i want to live anywhere else. great and wonderful things have happened for our family since we've been here that i don't think anywhere else could be better

i wear slippers almost all day. they are so comfy!!! love love love my slippers

breakfast is my favorite meal. i can eat anything that would be considered "breakfast" at any time of the day.

i am responsible for getting my bff with her now fiance!!! i'm so above the moon excited for her that i wish i had millions and millions of dollars to give her the wedding of her dreams just so show her how much she means to me

i could keep going and going with random things about myself, but i need to get up to "the kid's" school and go help out. what do i need to know about you, if we're to be bff's?

{insert witty title here}

i don't really have a whole lot to post about today, but since i've been reading a few other blogs, i decided that i should at least try to post something new at least 3 times a week. maybe by doing this i will get inspired to find certain things to post about. but for today....this is it.

2011

since the start of 2011 i have kept a notebook with titles of books i've read. as i write this, it's the 20th and i've read 6 books and i'm working on the 7th. here's my list so far:

Ape House by Sara Gruen
Burned by P.C. Cast
Measure of a Lady by Deeanne Gist
Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead
Frostbite by Richelle Mead
Riding Lessons by Sara Gruen
Sizzlin Sixteen by Janet Evanovich

Sara Gruen is an amazing author. I read Water for Elephants about a year ago, I think, and loved the book. when Ape House first came out i couldn't wait to read it. but the cheapass i am, waited for awhile and found it at the library. i could barely put the book down it was that good. i have requested another book of hers from the library and can't wait till i get that one. i'm currently reading Riding Lessons and that is great as well. it catches your attention right from the beginning and whenever i get a free moment i pick it up.

the P C Cast book along with others in the series are pretty good. Burned is book 7 of the House of Night novels and i can't wait till book 8 is in my hands. i'm currently position 4 in the library queue and i wish it was here NOW!! you have to put up with a lot of repetition of background story bits, but it's a good story.

richelle mead's books are also not to shabby. i've been on a vampire kick since.......the '90's and haven't let go of it. tho my husband will disagree and say it's all because of twilight. but he's wrong. these books tell of a vampire princess and her guardian who are in high school. not only are they dealing with high school drama and growing up, but also trying to survive attacks. i'm also waiting for books 3 and 4 from this series from the library.

deeanna gist's book was interesting. good story line set in the wild west of california's gold rush days. but for me...and it's not against the author or anyone else, but it was too christian for me. too much god-stuff. which is fine, but not for me. the main female character was an interesting twist on the "proper" ladies of the day being very interested in bugs instead of sewing and tea parties. not too bad of a read tho.

janet evanovich......man i love her. she's an amazing author. her books will have you literally laughing out loud and at times with tears running down your face. her tales of stephaine plum are amazing. sizzlin' sixteen is the newest in the plum tales and just as good. finished this book in about a day it's that good.

i plan on keeping track of what books and how many i read this year. not really for any other purpose other then pure curiosity. i know i read a lot. this will show me just how much. i have 3 books on request at the library and will probably go back this weekend and pick up some more to read till they come in. i like to mix in books that make you think with books i call "fluff", meaning easy to follow plot lines and characters. if anyone is reading this and has any suggestions, please share!!!

1984

Well....i have finished the book (awhile ago actually) and i am still not sure what i really think about it. this book was written in the '60's then based in the future of 1984 where this huge group "big brother" has taken over to make life better. it's a crazy idea to think that something like this could happen where a group has now taken over every aspect of daily life and make it "better" when actually it's worse. i don't know. i don't think i'll revisit this book ever again. it made me really angry at parts when the knowledge that if something happens that "big brother" doesn't like, they can literally just re-write history. they can even make you question your own past and events that happened to see if it really did happen. sex isn't something to look forward too. your own children are taught to keep an eye out on you to make sure that you're not turning against "big brother". it's a psycho messed up world. one i'm glad is in a book.