Wednesday, May 26, 2010

really? it's over?

i have been off work now for about 2 1/2 weeks whilst my boss if off in china. not too shabby when you think about it. getting all this time off without having the ask for it. well, today is my last day of vacation....and as i sit here i'm wondering "what did i do?" and the answer...nothing. nothing of great importance anyway. i did the usual cleaning of the house, tho it seems it was never really done anyway. hung out with my friends for two of these days. watched at lot of tv/movies. man...i'm really lazy. lol

tho last week there was a major event...well to me anyway. i joined weight watchers. i'm going to be 30 next year and man i want to look good. plus i want to feel good. so, here i go on this journey. but that night i found out some very sad news. my grandfather passed away. i knew it was coming, but it doesn't make it hurt less. not one bit. i wish i could go home to be there. i know that by doing that would accomplish a whole lot of nothing, but i'd feel better. but anywho.....this is something for another time.

as this week comes to a close i'm thinking about all the things i should/could have done and how can i fit that all in one day? there's no point really cause the main thing is wanting to have gone home. which, due to OUTRAGEOUS airline ticket prices, is something i need to move on from thinking about that. but these past two weeks have gone by kinda slow. at first it seemed like forever, now BAM, it's over. just as i was getting into the swing of things! but honestly, i'm ready to go back. i like being able to work, getting out of the house, and dealing with people. it's a welcome break to being inside or just wanting to go shopping for something to do. i don't see how people can do this all the time? i guess those who do have actual things to keep them busy which i haven't found. lord help me when it comes time for retirement....but probably by then i'll be one of those old ladies terrorizing her neighbors with "that crazy loud rock music" and TP'ing their golf carts. ahh....good times.....wait that gives me an idea! off to terrorize my current neighbors!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

we'll see where this goes

so, inspired by a great friend of mine who decided to reclaim her inner writer, i too decided to see what's been hiding in me all these years. i remember growing up wanting to be a writer, to play with words and see what came of them. not like any of them will make sense most of the time, but still as a kid the thought was there. my parents were great in encouraging me in this, it was i who always said "nah...i'm not good enough". now being a mom, my daughter loves it when i make up stories. stories about babies traveling across imaginative lands and dealing with impossible situations such as talking polar bears, bands of pirates and other misadventures.

the point of starting this blog is one i'm not really sure what it is. maybe from some need to be heard? to get all these random thoughts that are always on my mind out and to make sense of what it means? who knows. all i know is that it's helping a wee bit to get things written down.

there's a lot going on in my own personal life right now that is confusing, sad, angry and just a mess really. tho when i sit back and look at everything, i KNOW that there are people who are going through worse and have every right to feel this way. who am I to be this way? i mean to some people i've got it pretty darn good. a husband with a stable job, a wonderful daughter, a lovely home, now complete with not one, but TWO animals, and a pretty good friend base. even i think "who the hell am i to feel this way?...just shake it off and get over it. it could be worse" .....but that's the thing. i can't shake it. but i'm working on it. and i guess that's all i can do for now is to try....because without trying you'll get nowhere.

so we'll see where this goes. i wonder what will be floating around in my head that wants to get out here and there. so this is the start of randomness.