Thursday, July 22, 2010

lost

last friday i got...laid off or as i like to call it, completely blindsided about my job. i'm not longer employed. i've got nothing to call a job anymore. i'm not getting paid to do anything. i have no reason to present myself to the world other then normal day to day activities like picking up/dropping off steve or aslynn to things. wow......i'm awesome. what the fuck do i do now?! it's not like i've got security with a degree in something useful to find another job. it's not like there's tons of jobs out there.
people say "oh go collect unemployment" yeah...i could. just to spite the DB who changed his mind about his office needs without asking if i could work that way. no...i'm not bitter about this at all. nope not me. fuck him.
i've been sitting here at home wondering where the hell is my purpose now? it's not like i did something amazing for a job and that it made a huge difference in people's lives. i helped at a doctors. i helped bring people back to get their nails trimmed. yeah...i rock. now i get to listen to a bird screaming at me because he can't come out cause we don't know if the dog wants to eat him or not. good times. i'm a flippin' housewife with a kid who is pretty darn self-sufficient. it's summer break right now so here's to entertaining her till school starts. i love her to death, don't get me wrong, but i've been able to get out of the house daily and interact with people who are adults. with thinking minds who have stories to tell about other things then their own kids or new recipes, new ways of cleaning things, or other brainless things. i'm fucked. i'm going to go completely crazy.

yeah i got a home to take care of....i can cook amazing things for dinner, if everything didn't make me feel nauseous with the thought of food. (NOT PREGO just sick of food) i can clean and go through everything here that needs to be done. but it's stuff that has to be done anyway. not something to accomplish that matters to anyone outside of this house.

maybe i'll write reviews on books i'm reading or music i'm listening too....or.....who knows. what the hell am i supposed to do now?!?!?!? any ideas?

1 comment:

Badmama said...

Wow. Had no idea you were quite so unhappy with the layoff. Thought it was a forced good thing at the right time. You know, cosmic intervention forcing you to do something you'd not do yourself... but ultimately it's for the best.

As for ideas... yeah! Snack bags baby. First headbands, now back-to-school snack bags. Do you feel the awesomness coming on or what!(<- yes, exclamation point & all- a little excitement never hurts)